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Evidence Library · Emotional recovery

When the birth was not what you wanted

Disappointment after an unplanned cesarean is not weakness.

Many women who have a healthy baby after an unplanned cesarean feel grief, anger or failure, and then feel guilty for feeling any of it. Both things can be true: you can be grateful your baby is well and still be sad about how the birth went.

Asking your doctor to walk you through what happened, with the operative note in front of you, is worth doing, and it is worth being clear about what it is for. It answers the medical question of what occurred and why, and many women find that changes the story they tell themselves. It is not a treatment. A Cochrane review of 7 trials found no evidence that routine debriefing after birth prevents psychological trauma. If you have symptoms, ask for treatment that has evidence behind it. See what actually helps after a traumatic birth.

Where this comes from:
332. Froeliger A, Deneux-Tharaux C, Loussert L, Madar H, Sentilhes L. Posttraumatic stress disorder 2 months after cesarean delivery: a multicenter prospective study. Am J Obstet Gynecol. 2024;230(5):543.e1-543.e36.
267. Bastos MH, Furuta M, Small R, McKenzie-McHarg K, Bick D. Debriefing interventions for the prevention of psychological trauma in women following childbirth. Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2015;(4):CD007194.

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This page is educational. It supports the conversation with your own clinicians. It is not consent to any treatment, and it cannot assess you. If you are worried about a symptom now, see urgent warning signs.