Nearly half of women hold back, and the commonest reason is the word normal
In a CDC survey of more than 2,400 US mothers, 44.7% held back from raising a concern. The top reason was thinking that what they were feeling was normal.
This is the number the whole of Part 4 rests on. It is the closest thing in the literature to a measurement of what expectation-setting actually does.
CDC's own sentence: Approximately one half (44.7%) of all respondents reported holding back from asking questions or discussing concerns.
The reasons, in CDC's own words:
| Reason for holding back, in CDC's own wording | Share of respondents |
|---|---|
thinking that what they were feeling was normal | 28.8% |
feeling embarrassed and not wanting to make a big deal | 21.5% |
having someone close tell them it was normal | 21.2% |
worrying that their maternity care provider might think they were being difficult | 20.7% |
Follow the mechanism. Whatever else expectation-setting does, it sets the level at which you decide a symptom is worth mentioning. Describe more and more as normal, and you raise the bar a woman has to clear before she speaks. That is not a theory. It is the single most common reason American mothers gave for not speaking.
"I am not asking you to fix it. I am asking you to record that I mentioned it."
"Something feels different from last week and I cannot explain it better than that."